The Lord's Plan.

  Things seem to just cruise these days. I wish I could freeze time and play baseball with Finn all day.  He is growing up so fast and getting tall, I'm certain he will be taller than his mom in no time at all. I can't imagine a day without his sweet face and contagious laugh. He is perfect in my eyes. I never understood the love that my mom had for me until I became a mother myself and oh how that love grows with each new day and with every single challenge.  Sometimes I just sit back and wonder how this life came to be. The Lord has a plan for me and I'm grateful that he is full of patience and knows just what I need.
  I know that I had to marry and divorce so I could learn, grow, and appreciate the next phase of life. I know I had to be patient while waiting for Finn in order to really understand the Lord's plan. As we wait for another child to join our family, I'm again reminded that the Lord's timing is perfect and someday when Finn becomes a big brother, this will all make perfect sense.
  We are blessed to feel of thy love and to see thy hand in our daily lives and for that I am grateful.

I know.

I've spent a lot of time the last few weeks trying to put my phone down and bring the spirit into our home. I'll be the first to admit that it's no easy task staying off of fb and instagram but I have found a few things that help.
Conference talks - I listen to them while I'm in the shower and getting ready, I've even gone as far as to put headphones in while I blow my hair dry. I have found more patience with myself and the things around me. Last week I was on fb and Finn was asking for a snack and I almost snapped. I immediately put my phone down in the other room and gave Finn my undivided attention. FB isn't all negative but it can have a negative impact.
 BOM Reading - The glorious thing about the goal I've set for myself, is just that - it's for myself. I don't have to read a certain amount a day or finish by a certain time, it's just me, the Lord, and the Book of Mormon going at our own pace and re-reading a chapter or two when I've discovered something that applies to ME!
 Family Prayer - This tends to not be real lengthy and pretty straight forward because we want Finn to learn that a prayer can be simple but should be done daily. Colby and I also have our couples prayer and our own personal prayer. A prayer brings the spirit and forces us to close our eyes and give the Lord our attention.

I absolutely know that my Heavenly Father knows and loves ME. I'm striving to make our home a sanctuary, a place inside the world but not of the world where the spirit can dwell and we can feel the love the our Father in Heaven has for each one of us.
 Every day is new and with each new day we face a struggle but I find peace in knowing that we get to start over the next day and try things differently.

2015.

It's a new year (somehow) and I'm excited for the 'fresh' start. I've set a few goals (all within reach) and I can't wait to accomplish each one!
 1) Read the Book of Mormon 3 times. This will probably be the hardest to attain because I'm not great at reading my scriptures but I'm up for the challenge.
 2) Run 3 half marathons. I'd run 20 if we had the funds. My goal isn't to just run but also to get faster. I hope to beat my fastest time (2h 21m. 59s) at least twice. Running is something I always love to do but unless I have a goal (like becoming faster), I feel I'm always at a stand still.
3) Cook more. A lot more. We've been eating a lot more meals at home lately and I can't believe how much money we've saved.
4) Amp up the food storage. I'm pretty good about buying a few extra things each shopping trip to add to what we already have but I would really like to get to where I feel really comfortable with what we've got.  As I've learned to coupon and recognize good sales this has become easier but I'm excited to really get a good storage.
5) Relax. Many don't know this but I have pretty severe anxiety. My attacks usually stem from things I can control which is nice but when I feel it coming on, watch out. I can clean the house in a solid hour if I have to. It's been interesting to watch Finn's toys take over our house (not entirely) and have to be able to just let it be. I secretly loved when our house was up for sale and it had to be spotless all the time. On that note, I didn't mop for a full week after we took it off the market.
6) Be a better Mom. I don't think I'm a bad Mom but I have a hard time with putting my phone down and just playing. I'm getting better about just kicking back and letting Finn do what he wants and being along for the ride but this year I'm going to jump in and soak it all up. I used to count down until nap time and bedtime but sometimes I let him stay up and be whiney just so I can spend extra time with him.

I have a few more goals but these are the main ones. I'm so excited for a new year of enjoying life and my cute little family.
 Happy 2015!

My kid.

"He looks just like Colby!"

 I hear this a lot and it makes me laugh, I actually see a lot of my little self in Finn and I love it. He has my blonde blonde locks, my blue eyes and my puffy cheeks. It's so fun to catch little things that he gets from Colby and I. 

 Last night he was holding my hand for a few minutes and his little hand started to get clammy, he gets that from Colby. He is a very busy boy and doesn't stop until he finishes whatever he is working on, again, this is from his Dad. He is very strong willed and knows what he wants - this he gets from his Mama. Pretty easy going especially when it comes to other kids; if he is playing with something and another kid comes and takes it, he will move onto another toy without even blinking. I would say he gets the easy to please personality from his Dad. 

 A few weeks ago Colby found one of my favorite movies as a kid on Netflix - The Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan. We sat down to watch it while Finn played and about 3 minutes into it, we noticed Finn has stopped playing and was watching the movie. Not only did he stop the watch the movie, he sat through the entire show, all the way up to the credits. We've watched a lot of movies at our house and he has never paid so much attention. Since then, we've watched the movie about 40 times. Seriously. Little dude is a huge fan of LiLo. Not quite sure who he gets that from. 

Last weekend we went to Huntsville for a baby shower and we were able to catch Great Grandma's cats and pet them for a few minutes. Finn kept getting right in their faces and saying "MEOW'. He was so proud that he had remembered his animal sounds. such a crack up. 

Yesterday I decided that I am finished carrying a diaper bag. A few weeks ago the milk spilled in his bag and it took 4 rounds in the washer to take care of it. FOUR WASHES. So, we went to Target and found a backpack small enough for Finn to carry but big enough to hold the essentials. I don't think he quite understands what it's for but I also don't think he cares. 

 With each new stage that comes, I fall more in love with our sweet boy. He is so smart and loves to do exactly what his Dad and I do. 

Life of a Mom. This Mom.

Motherhood comes with all sorts of bumps, bruises, and challenges but the rewards are top notch and make it all worth it. 

 I'm the first to admit that I was a bit harsh before I became a Mom; can you not hear your kid crying? Are you intentionally ignoring the tantrum? 

  Here I am, 16 months later and I'm that mom. Finn watches TV, he eats fruit snacks before dinner, and sometimes I let him have chocolate and cookies for breakfast. You know what? I have no shame. 

   Our little dude is a Mama's boy and I love everything about it. I'm the first one he runs to when he's hurt and he wants me to know before anyone when he is excited or has something to show off. My hearts skips a beat when he says or does something that I've been trying to teach him. Those good moments outweigh the bad, constantly. 

 I fall more in love with being a Mom and my sweet boy every single day. 

 This boy is full of smiles and giggles, what's not to love? 

This photo is full of Love with a touch of the Itsy Bitsy Spider. 

I hope our next little one is just like Finn.

Life - As of Late.

On Memorial Day we were on our way to the Ogden Cemetery when Finn started to fuss in the backseat, I handed him some milk and enjoyed the ride and silently thanked my Father in Heaven for such a beautiful day. A few minutes passed before I turned around to check on the dude and found that he had pushed the top of his bottle and and was shaking the contents free. 

Milk. Was. Everywhere. 

By everywhere I mean Finn was soaked and so was his carseat. 

A quick stop at Walmart for a new shirt and we were on our way. 

Colby all but refused to walk by us. 

I on the other hand, thought we fit right in.

#peopleofwalmart 

It's no surprise to me that this little dude loves himself an otter pop. I pounded my fair share during those 9 months. They were the one thing I craved when I was pregnant and I remember how hard it was to find them during the winter. I may or may not have cried tears of joy when I found a box on our porch one day. My sweet friend Angie searched high and low for those bad boys. Oh I love her. 

I swore to myself I wouldn't quit smiling when I got these braces put back on. I'm working on it. 

On another note, I'm 1/3 of the way done with them. 

This dude keeps us busy and on our toes. Everyone keeps telling us to hurry and have another and besides the fact that I'm not ready for numero dos, I'm loving every second of our one-on-one time with Finn. I think we'll wait a bit to add to our crew. 

Colby and I snagged tickets for our first ReAl game over the 24th and I think we'll get back as soon as we can. We had a great time. We even ended up right next to Colby's cousin and his wife. They also got tickets off the net. What are the odds! 

Work is getting busier and I'm still loving it. 

I'm learning to compound and in doing so, I'm finding a new interest in them medical field. 

13.1 baby!

Three-thirty AM is when my alarm went off, not that I was really asleep. My sister let me in on a big race day secret - get your good nights rest the two nights before race day, the night before you're worried about forgetting something and too excited/nervous to get any decent rest so 2 nights before is crucial. I can't believe how much this helped with my nerves! Don't get me wrong, 3:30 is fetch freaking early but I was ready to roll when the phone started vibrating.

 We caught the bus at 4:45 to take us up the canyon to Eden park and I was ready for my nerves to kick it, I was surprised when they never did! I think I was just so excited for race day to finally be here that I was too pumped to feel the jitters. 

 A few thousand runners crowded around fire pits to keep warm and waited for 6:45. I knew a lot of people who were running but I ran into very few. About 20 minutes before we took off, I finally found my brother in law. I was so excited to see him, mostly because I knew he would finish long before I did and wanted to say hi. All the big races that I've done (Ragnars) have been with him and my sister and I found a little bit of comfort knowing that if something were to happen, I know he wouldn't hesitate to run the route backwards to find me. (He's had to do it before!) 

 They gave us the go-ahead to RUN! and with so many runners, my friend Stacey AKA (the golden running partner) and I  crossed the start line and 6:51. I completely forgot about my watch until it was almost too late but that good ol' Garmin didn't fail me (yet again) that bad boy found satellite seconds before we started. 

 The race was on and we were so excited to shed our sweats and finally get going. The scenery was absolutely beautiful from the very beginning and continued through the finish line. I laughed because people were stopping every 1/4 mile for photos. Three-quarters of a mile in, 3/4! of a mile and people started walking. WALKING. Both Stacey and I looked at each other and reminded ourselves that we were not here for a stroll, we knew we weren't going to win (or come close) but we had trained and we weren't stopping until we finished. (and/or had to pee) 

 We stopped at the 5.4 mark to use the portas and continued on from there. We laughed and chatted and kept our mind on the prize. Stacey will tell you that I was super chatty towards the end and she has no idea where I mustered the energy to speak but I had to put my focus somewhere besides my achey calves. 

 We made it to about 12.3 miles before we could feel the wall, the one where you're not sure how you'll take another step but you do it because everyone else is and you've come too far to walk now. 

 The adrenaline came fast and hard as soon as we could see the finish line. Shortly after it was in our view, we saw Stacey's cute family. I heard "LIBBY!" and turned to see my favorite aunts cheering me on. From there I heard my name a lot and was confused when I didn't recognize anyone that was yelling it. Stacey laughed and reminded me that my name was on my bib. Oh ya. 

 We sprinted in hard (and probably not very fast) and were so excited to finish! High fives were thrown and talk of how awesome we are came shortly after. I found my family and was greeted with hugs, kisses, flowers, balloons, and a candy bar poster! I have 2 amazing sisters who couldn't make it but did their best. I cried when I saw the poster and I cried when I heard my sisters voice on the phone telling me how proud of me she was. It was amazing to have my boys and my Mom waiting for me at the finish just as anxious as I was for me to cross that last line. 

 I finally ran my first (and certainly not my last) half marathon. The runner's high is still very present and I'm itching to sign up for another. I could barely walk for the first 24 hours but it was absolutely worth it. I'm so grateful for a healthy body that allows me to run! 

And the sticker makes it official. 

It feels incredible to accomplish something that I knew would be hard but with enough training 

(and the perfect running partner) 

I could do it. 

Hit me again half marathon. 

Uno Mas.

One more year has come and gone. 

The biggest year of our lives flew by, just like that.

Tomorrow Finn turns the big 1! Uno! One!

I'm so glad we are a year ahead of this very moment  - last year. 

I was HUGE. Swollen from head to toe and DONE. 

I was over being pregnant and was ready to tie my shoes again.

 I was packin 34 extra pounds and couldn't wait to ditch every single last one. 

My pregnancy was quite easy.

Delivery was a walk in the park.

Recovery ... well lets just say I'm not looking forward to that again. 

But this last year was worth every second of tears, laying on my side for 10 days straight, and sobbing every time I had to move. 

No seriously, the nightmare of recovery is what is keeping me from even considering a second child. 

For now anyway. 

Now I get to wake up to that sweet baby face every single day. 

He is growing up so big and tall and he is learning something new every day.

He stands up in his crib and every piece of furniture that he can reach. 

He loves to crawl and has mastered going up the stairs. 

He isn't walking yet but I think we are getting close. 

He's obsessed with eyelashes and when I ask where Mom's eyelashes are, he puts his finger right up by my eye to get his finger tickled.

He waves bye, claps, cheers, and loves to have yelling contests with Mom and Dad.

He currently says Mom, Dad, No, Stop, Charlie, Yay, and (almost) bye. 

I have loved every single stage. 

Sometimes I dread the next stage because I find it hard to believe that I can love and enjoy him more than I already do. Somehow it always works out. :) 

It's such an honor to be a Mom and 

I couldn't ask for a sweeter boy to give me the title. 

Happy Birthday little dude! 

The gift that keeps on giving.

I've been trying extra hard to focus on myself this year without neglecting my family or my responsibilities in the house. It's been different for me to set things aside and go for a run. I'm no where near perfect but I love spending time with them and hate missing anything. For months I felt like I was being selfish when I tied my shoes and left my boys, even if it was just up the stairs to hit the treadmill. I'm still laughing at what opened my eyes and helped me realize that I deserve 'me' time.
  It was the day before my birthday and I got an interesting text from Colby while at work.
 "What's the password to your email?"
I don't give that out to just anybody fella, you're going to have to give me some deets before I tell you anything.
He almost refused and had he tried just a little harder on the old password, he would have figured it out but in a bit of a nervous state, the beans were spilled.
Side note: I signed up for a half marathon in 2012 and in the middle of training I discovered I was pregnant and became nauseous every time I tried to continue my training. At the time I was devastated, I had finally gotten up the guts to run my first half and my body (and fetus) wouldn't let me continue.
 Fast-forward a year and half and the Mr had not forgotten this dream of mine.

 He needed my email password so he could print off the receipt saying I had signed up and paid for another half. Before he sealed the deal with the credit card, I demanded more details. The race was coming up and fast! It was also 45 minutes away and started quite early. He had chosen this race because of the scenery, a man after my own heart. I asked him to hold off so I could maybe find one closer or see if I had a friend running the same one. Basically, I was stalling. I run a lot slower post baby and I was letting the fear of the finish line coming down before I made it to the end stop me.

 A few weeks passed and I decided that this chicken had to cross the road, even if it was just to get to the other side. I posted on fb that I was looking for an Ogden half marathon bib and within minutes I had someone all but offering theirs up. I took the bait, found a neighbor that is running the same race (and pace) and I put my running shoes on.
 Last week we ran 7 miles together, 7 MILES! Half way to FINISHING our half. May 17th will be here before I know it and we will be ready. Ogden Half, I'll see you at the finish line, that is if you don't come down before I get there.

Money can buy temporary happiness but it's the reminder that I matter and my dreams are worth reaching for that really made the big 28 such a great birthday. I'm a lucky gal to have someone so handsome behind me pushing me to accomplish the ones I can't accomplish alone.

2014 - I'm trying to embrace you.

Do you want to know why I hate when the year comes to an end?
  Because it forces me to reflect on the things I didn't accomplish that I swore I was going to.
Want to know why I hate the new year?
  Because I set new goals that I'm pretty sure I'll do for a month and then stop.

New leaf.
 Becoming a mother has given me a lot of reasons to not do things. I'm a busy girl ya know! I had myself all but convinced that I didn't have time for myself anymore and that was okay, we had made the choice to have a child and now nothing was about me. That mindset worked for about 6 months and then I could see myself going into a deep depression.
 I try my best every single day to be the best Mom that I know how, sometimes when I hit the pillow at night I'm disappointed with my efforts and other times I keep Colby up telling him all about the day and what Finn and I were up to and how good I feel about it all.
 I try and have the house clean and laundry always done - i know i know unless everyone is naked it's never 'done' but I'm trying! I also put in a good effort to put dinner on the table every night (pfft). These few tasks make me feel so good but can bring me down so fast. It's more than little hard to try and be the best wife, Mom, cook, housekeeper, and worker bee that you know how!
 I've come to the conclusion though, that I'm not just a Mom and a wife. I'm a girl that needs time to herself, time to reflect and time to focus on me.
Here is where I turn over that new leaf.
  I force myself every day (except sunday) to put in 15 minutes of exercise. I know it's not a lot but it gets me going. On top of that 15, I go for a run twice a week.
Occasionally I'm up at 10:30 PM painting my nails and putting in me time, I usually regret the lack of sleep in the morning but I wake up with pretty nails which never hurts.
I go to work 4 times a week and somehow my job makes me feel accomplished. I am lucky to have a job where I feel needed and appreciated, and to be able to love what I do.
 I get myself ready every day, this used to seem so silly but now that I can see what it does for my confidence, I don't hesitate.
 Because I've started to see results with my 15 minute of exercise, I've started eating better. Before getting pregnant I was lucky to eat whatever I wanted and stay thin, that quickly changed. I've stopped drinking soda - for the 47th time this year! and I've cut down my sugar a ton, this is the hardest one for me because I get free candy at work and well, I love me some sugar.  I'm not kidding when I say this one is being done just ONE DAY AT A TIME.
In 2014 I'm taking just a little bit more time to focus on me because my family deserves a happy girl to call their Wife and Mom.

cinco.

It's been a 5 whole years since I used the word divorce, packed my bags, and moved back to my Mom's house.
 This last Sunday in Young Women's, my advisor gave an incredible lesson on knowing our Heavenly Father. She asked us for a time when we have felt the closest to him and I didn't hesitate. I let the girls take their turn answering and then I shared an experience that seems to come up a lot more often than I'd like. *I am in no way shape or form proud to be a divorcee. However, I learned more through that trying experience than I could have possibly learned in a lifetime, truly. I'm proud of the woman that I have chosen to become through the experience and I honestly have zero regrets.
 I remember walking into my Mom's house, suitcase and dog in hand and being grateful for the smell and the immediate comfort. I've always felt a sense of security in that house and although this experience was a little different, the security was more present than ever.
 My Mom could see the panic starting to set in and she offered to say a prayer with me. As soon as we knelt, I felt the Lord wrap his arms around me. This was where I was supposed to be, this was home. As the days came and went the panic would set in, only in the evening. It was when I found myself with more time to think (and wonder).
 I distinctly remember night 3. I found myself questioning everything. What have I done? What if this is my only chance to be a wife? Or a mother? What if I could have kept it all together? What if I had tried harder? What could I have done different? Was it too late to go back? Was it worth going back? Did I want to go back? I was hysterical. Sobbing, thrashing, out of breath, puffy-eyed, sick to my stomach - had I given up to easily? My nurse of a Mom slipped me half of a lorazepam (anxiety medicine) and within 30 minutes, I was feeling it. That was good stuff! As soon as I caught my breath, I knew for certain that I wasn't going back and that was just fine with me.
 Sometimes this trial still creeps on me and I'm flooded with emotion. I think sometimes the Lord likes to remind me what life used to be like so that I will take more time to appreciate each day.
 A LOT has happened in 5 years. I've apologized to my family for the nightmare of a daughter, sister, and aunt that I was towards the end - I'll continue to do so for forever. I was so mean.
 I met (reunited) with Colby and a year later, our request was granted to be married and sealed for time and all eternity. We bought a home. We welcomed our sweet Finn into our lives. Everyday we take the time to express our love and gratitude to one another. Our little dude is our highlight and we can't get enough of him.
 You guys, I'm not kidding when I say that life is fantastic, not perfect but fantastic.
I am beyond grateful for trials that make us better people and help us become closer to our Savior and the love that he has for us. I know that he is aware of me and that he knows me by name.

I love second chances - Being a wife and a Mom to my two handsome boys that love me for me is something worth fighting for, even when we don't know what we're up against.

 

As of Late.

Life just seems to get crazier with each passing day.
 Finn is growing like a weed and his latest growth spirt had him eating 1-2 times each night. Fortunately for me, He's a cuddly little dude so even if it is in the middle of the night, I get to sneak in some extra Finn time. Not a moment goes by that I don't thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with such an incredible little guy. The opportunity to be a Mom is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Even when he cries, or fusses, or I can't figure out what's wrong - I smile.
 He is (almost) always his very happiest. We've heard a lot of comments about him being the happiest baby people have ever seen. I don't know any different but I'm sure glad he's our happy boy.
 He is constantly rolling over and his new trick is sitting up. Part of me thinks he will skip the whole crawling thing and go straight to walking but who knows.

Over Thanksgiving we were able to enjoy the company of our out of state family and were lucky enough to be apart of our nephew Owen's baptism while they were here.
Owen asked Colby to speak on the Holy Ghost and Colby was so excited and honored to do so. Aside from the transmission going out in our brand new car, it was a perfect day. We're grateful that Owen chose to take the plunge in Utah!
 While everyone was here, we also went out for sushi. I tried it (again) and well .. swallowed it. I'm not a fan and luckily, neither is Colby. We'll keep to our Burger Bar and Chic-Fil-A.

I've recently started doing a little bit of compounding at the Pharmacy and I love it. I know I've said this before but I seriously have the coolest job ever. I love it!

Colby's work Christmas party was at the Conference center in Salt lake and it did not disappoint. We were able to meet Santa, go back stage, see the view from the pulpit, do some crafts, fly paper airplanes from the top row, and of course there was delicious food. We are so grateful for Colby's job!

This is our life, currently.

Benefit 5K

I recently had an amazing opportunity to help put together a benefit 5K for a family hoping to adopt. I'm not the least bit creative but I will admit that this was my idea. 

One 5K turned into-

 a kids run 

costume contest

a raffle

kids games 

popcorn

hot chocolate 

and all around success.

Only the 5K was my idea, the creative and amazing girls I worked with came up with the rest.

We were so excited with all the success and support that was achieved. 

I'm so blessed to have amazing friends and family who didn't miss a beat when I needed help.

My sweet Grandma Arnold saw my (many) facebook status' inquiring raffle items and mason jars and didn't hesitate to call. She even came to the event, bought raffle tickets, and won her donated quilts back! I wish I could express how much it meant to me to have her there. 

My sweet husband and sister bundled up the babes and volunteered all day long and kept me sane as the event got closer - I would have never accomplished all that I needed to without their helping hands and words of encouragement. Also, Colby made me a "hat" to wear with my costume so I looked a little more legit. 

Does everyone have a friend that they've know since they were knee-high to a grasshopper who they can count on for everything? KarLee is easily in my top 5 of favorite people and she is always willing to help. Our conversation the night before went something like this ...

"Do you have a costume I can borrow for tomorrow? I've spent so much time doing other things, I forgot I needed one."

"Lets see, I have the classic carrot which never disappoints, a hawaiian girl, a bull rider, some other odds and ends."

"I'll take the carrot. Do you have a handful of mason jars I could borrow?"

"What size and how many? Can we come early tomorrow and help you prepare?"

You guys, she just doesn't stop, she doesn't even hesitate! 

It doesn't stop there though, half her family showed up to run and help. 

I can't believe I'm saying this buuuut .. I can't wait to put another one together next year.

Stay tuned! 

Me Time. Mom Time. Clean Time.

One of my least favorite things is waking up to a dirty house. It's why I clean the house before we go on vacation, I hate coming home to a mess. Recently I started waiting until the boys went to bed and taking 10 minutes for myself. At first I would throw in a load of laundry and paint my nails, telling myself that tomorrow night I would mop the floors. That was nice. Then I found a nail polish that lasted days. So, I would throw in a load of laundry, fold a load, and play candy crush. I know, I know. Candy Crush is lame but, it was me time and me time means I get to choose how I spent my time. Then I cheated on candy crush by changing the date on my phone to the next day giving me extra lives. When my messages wouldn't send, I had to change the date back and my lie was discovered. I had to wait a full 24 hours before I could play again. I felt sneaky but was reminded that cheaters never prosper. Alas, I was left with me time with no need for nail polish and zero lives on Candy Crush.
  In one night I knocked out the dishes, the dusting, my couponing, and 5 minutes of straight nothing.
I loved waking up to 'such' a clean house the next day, I do it every night.
 Being a Mom is absolutely my calling in life. I'm not great at it but I love it and I'm giving it my all. Finn makes keeping a clean house nearly impossible but when he is grown, I can promise that he will never remember how clean our house was but that Mom would spend hours on end playing, loving, and laughing.
 I'll take that over anything in this world.
Fortunately, a clean house is what keeps the Mom sane.
 Me time can wait until all is quiet in the house.

Life.

Little dude is officially 5 1/5 months old and growing like a weed. I give it two more weeks before he's in 9 month jams. He is destined to be tall like his Dad. He has found his voice and is constantly yelling.  Colby had to turn up the volume on his movie last night because we couldn't hear it over him. He hates tummy time but loves to stand (with help of course). Every day we pull out the camera and try and capture every tiny moment, knowing it will be gone before we know it.
 Life continues to get crazier (somehow) and I'm trying my hardest to soak it all in. I'm looking forward to watching F grow some more and to making him a big brother. If it were up to me, we'd be trying for another. Fortunately I have a husband who knows how far my sanity reaches and is making sure I don't lose it.
  Being a Mom is by far my most favorite thing in this world. I can't remember what life was like before him and I wouldn't trade it. This is perfect.

Mama moment!

It happened! 

  I caught myself singing to Finn. Not a song though, just a regular sentence. I make everything into a song. He still has no idea what I'm saying but he loves when I sing so everything turns into a song. I find that I can take part of a song and make up my own ending.

I was getting Finn dressed for bed the other day and he laughed as I sang.

   "Peanut Butter jamma time, peanut butter jamma time, peanut butter jamma time!" 

He laughed and I smiled. 

  What is it about being a Mom that makes me not care about what other people think? I can pull out my best "baby" voice almost anywhere. I've gained a whole new confidence since becoming a mother. It's kind of fantastic. 

*Surving motherhood

Recently I was doing the dishes - washing bottles for what felt like the millionth time in two days, when I found myself humming a song that I had been singing to Finn earlier in the day. I turned around to catch a glimpse of his smiley little face and noticed he was sound asleep in his bouncer. I had to stop and thank my Heavenly Father for such a precious gift. All of the sudden the dishes didn't matter, I didn't mind the dust on the wood floor that hadn't been swept in who knows how long, the dryer beeped and let me know that the first load of many for the day was complete and now needed to be folded and instead of rolling my eyes, I hummed along. Moments later I was in the bathroom and noticed the mirror needed a serious cleaning but instead of reaching for the windex, I found a dry erase marker and wrote Mr Carter a love note. In the mirror I also caught my reflection and realized that I hadn't showered and couldn't remember if I brushed my teeth that morning. Walking out of the bathroom, I found I hadn't made the bed or put my shoes away from the day before. As I walked through the house, with each room reminded me that I was so far behind in keeping it clean that it would make more sense to just sit and cry rather than try to catch up.
 Instead of freaking out and letting my anxiety take over, I remembered that prayer of gratitude and I had just spoken and suddenly nothing else mattered.
  It was then in that moment that I realized I will probably survive motherhood, but certainly not by myself.

Blessing(s) Day!

I will never forget the joy I felt when my sister announced that she was pregnant, due just a few weeks after us. Not only because they had been trying longer than us but I also knew we would be able to celebrate a lot of things together.

Celebration uno numero: 

Blessing Day

We chose to do it on Saturday July 27th in my Mom's backyard. 

We had a great turn out and the weather couldn't have been more perfect.

I'm positive the rain held out until we had it all cleaned up.

Colby gave Finn an amazing blessing and Jon followed, doing the same for Maggie. 

I searched high and low for a dress outfit for the babe and after 15 stores, I finally gave in and went to the quilted bear. 

I didn't leave disappointed. 

I love everything about the suspenders and bow tie and Finn rocked his white attire. 

Maggie wore the same dress that Abby was blessed in and she looked adorable.

It was an amazing day and we are so glad that our family was there to support us.

I look forward to many birthday parties and a baptism day in 8 years. 

I was so nervous about getting the outfit dirty that I didn't let Finn wear it very long. 

Enjoy the post-blessing out fit. 

 We also managed to have our whole family in town for the big day and had family pictures taken! 

I'm grateful for a husband who is worthy to hold the priesthood and is always willing to help and serve others with it. Colby is such an incredible husband and father. I couldn't ask for or imagine anyone more perfect for me and Finn. 

Mr Finn.

Uncle Logan has high hopes for Finn being his little musician buddy - 

his first lesson. :) 

Finn and his cousin Maggie are 7 weeks apart. 

I look forward to them growing up together and being the best of friends. 

Finn just keeps getting bigger! 

 Father's Day! 

I purchased this bow tie for Colby at Christmas and he kept saying he was waiting for a special occasion to rock it. I thought he hated it and was being too nice.

I was wrong.  :) 

I'm so in love with our little boy. I can't believe there was a time when he wasn't apart of our little family.

Newborn photos

We moved into a neighborhood full of talent! 

Colby and I have yet to figure out what we have to offer but I'm sure we will come up with something.

Our neighbor two houses down is a photographer and I'm so glad she had a chance to take a few shots of our little Finn. 

I'm in love with every single shot. 

He's kind of adorable. 

Back to the grind.

I started back at work yesterday.

 I can't decide if that sentence should end with a period or an exclamation point.  

I completely love my job, everything about it. Honest. 

I do miss cuddling that sweet babe all day though.

I'm working 15 hours a week and Finn is only with the sitter for about 10 of those hours.

As of right now I'm feeling really good about that. 

Eventually I might decide to quit all together but as of right now, that isn't likely. 

I'm grateful to have a job that I love and enjoy.

I'm also thankful for a sitter who already loves my baby boy to pieces.

Time is flying and it's true what they say, they grow up so fast. 

+1- Part 2

As soon as Finn was born I felt like I had lost 100 pounds. Obviously I hadn't but I remember being anxious to tie my shoes and paint my toes but those quick thoughts were gone as soon as Colby and I made eye contact again. The tears flowed for both of us, immediately we both felt the special love and bond with our little guy that we had only heard about.
 They took Finn off to the nursery for a bath and I was left to recover. I was given morphine through the iv and immediately started to itch. Turns out I'm allergic but the nurses couldn't give me anything else for the pain because we couldn't prove that it wasn't working. It was a long 18 hours after the epidural wore off. I was relieved when someone finally gave me a percocet.
 Just as we were getting ready to head home, they discovered Finn had a small case of jaundice. We were asked to stay until he was 48 hours old and were sent home with a bili bed. He was under the lights for 1 night and then we were able to snuggle him. Finally.
  We've been home for almost 3 weeks and things are going great. He still barely cries - unless he's getting his diaper changed. He's sleeping really good at night and we are finally getting the hang of things. I can't believe how quickly life and everything about it changes when you have a babe of your own.
 I've lost almost all my water weight - back to my pre-pregnancy ankles- but I still don't have any feeling in the fingers on my right hand and the tips of the fingers on my left hand. I have a feeling this is  permanent but it could always be worse. We're just glad that he is finally here and we can love him to pieces.

A good stretch. Finally. 

 He definitely got his Dad's toes. 

 This picture makes my heart melt. Colby is one proud Dad. 

(He has velcro on his temples for his jaundice glasses)