Bentley Jay

I was looking on ksl a few weeks ago for an apartment and there were very few that were pet friendly and zero with a yard. My hear broke as I realized that Bentley would be in a kennel inside all day most days and not see much of a the sun. Sure I could bring him to my mom's house everyday but it will be years before we have a yard of our own. I began to realize that I couldn't give Bentley the home and yard he has always had. After much prayer and many tears I sent Josh a text message. I knew he had been looking for a dog and he had asked more than once if he could have Bent back.
He told me he was still looking for a puppy unless I wanted to give him Bentley. The tears came but so did the comfort. I knew Josh could give him a good home, a yard, and just as much love as I could. He said he would love to take him especially if it meant helping out Colby and I, great! I text Colb and told him of my decision. I hadn't talked to anyone about this situation for dilemma because I felt like this was my decision and mine alone. He was surprised but he knew I would make the right choice.
I asked Josh if I could have one more day with him and I'd bring him by tomorrow. He of course said yes and then it was done. I spent that whole last night watching Bentley sleep. I cried as I realized that was our last night together.
Despite lots of prayers to stop time, Tuesday came. Colby and I had planned to search for furniture that day so my mind was able to go else where for just a little bit. The time of day came when I couldn't handle the thought and I asked Colby to take me home. I made the arrangements and gathered all of Bent's stuff .. toys, toys, his new bed, his new collar, more toys, his dishes, some treats, enough food for a few days in case Josh couldn't make it to the store, and a few more toys. Bentley and I got in the car and headed for Ogden. I cried nearly the entire drive and begged Bentley to forgive me.
We made it to Ogden in what seemed like no time at all and I sat in the driveway hoping Josh wasn't sitting at the kitchen table where he could see me crying in the car. I finally took a deep breath, said yet another prayer and headed inside. Bentley knew exactly where we were. He recognized Josh and was comfortable immediately. Josh was equally as excited to have him back. I walked outside to get a few more of his things and handed Josh the last of it. I spent a few minutes explaining his baths. his treats, his potty schedule, and a few new rules we had established with his new bed. I thanked Josh one more time and kissed Bentley's head. As I headed for the door the tears came .. hard. I cried and cried. So many emotions, so many feelings, so scared, yet so comforted. Poor Josh, he wasn't sure what do. Ha ha! He finally gave me a hug and reminded me that he would take good care of him and that he loved him just as much as I do. Just what I needed to hear.
I made it back to Colby's house and he held me while I cried some more. He told me how brave he thought I was and how selfless my decision was. Wow. That thought never even crossed my mind. As hard as all of this was, it was all for the best interest of Bentley. He offered to give me a priesthood blessing. It was amazing. I'm so glad that Colby keeps himself worthy to hold the priesthood. I'm so blessed to have him.
Bentley has been gone for a full week. I occasionly ask for updates to make sure he's eating and adjusting to his new (or old) house. He seems to be doing really well and Josh is taking really good care of him.
It's been quite the week but I still feel so good about this decision. I have to say though, I'd rather get a divorce then give that puppy away again. It's a lot harder when you know the dog loves you unconditionally and will never leave your side.
Colby promised me a puppy when we have the room. I promise to hold him to it!
I needed Bentley Jay every single day of this last year. He's been my rock, my pillow, and my whole world. He gave me the comfort to get through each and every day. He reminded me how precious life is and to live each day to it's absolute fullest. Oh how I miss that cuddly bug.