I went to sunday school with Colb last week, always a good time. The lesson was on eternal marriage .. how to achieve it, how to find it, and how to enjoy it. Jordan Davis gave the lesson, I love when he teaches. He gets really nervous but once the comments from the class start coming in and he realizes we're participating, he gives a great lesson.
We were talking about how to find the person we want to spend eternity with and I raised my hand. Always very nervous about commenting EVER - not just in a visiting ward- I felt confident in saying it, I didn't come up with it which made it easier to say. Weird. I'm reading a few books about marriage, love, being engaged, and remembering who you are and I'm loving them. There is a ton of good points and stories and quotes coming from all different directions. I believe I found the quote I used in the book '101 questions to ask before you get engaged.'
"You have to divorce yourself before you can truly love someone else."
A few people shook there heads in agreement, the teacher commented on the depth of it and the girl behind me started murming under her breath. Then she started murming a little louder. The teacher asked her to share her opinion loud enough for everyone to hear. She said she disagreed completely and continued to tell the class that she didn't think we should have to change who we are for someone else to love us. We should be able to be true to ourselves and the person who deserves us will understand that we are who are and that shouldn't have to change.
HUH??? WHAT???
The teacher was excited that there was a chance for debate but he brought the floor back to me. He asked me if I would like to explain my comment and maybe clear a few things up.
I explained -in a not very nice voice.. but I had steam coming out of my ears, I was embarassed, and she tried to make me look like a fool- That that wasn't what the comment was referring to .. at all. I think the quote was suggesting that we put ourselves in a position where we should desire to put our happiness aside to see someone else smile. We should be selfless and jump at the chance to help those around us be happy. I said a few more things but I was so frustrated by the end of the class that I really can't remember. Colby threw in a good comment to back me up and then we gave it back to the teacher. He was glad I was able to explain myself and he again commented on how much he liked the thought.
I found this qoute on a blog that I follow a few months back and I love it. I wish I could have thought of it on sunday. Next time for sure!
"Love is when someone elses happiness is more important then your own" .. Thanks Keri for posting this .. It's so cute and so true!
I talked about it for hours and Colby kept reminding me that I was right and the debate was over HA HA HA! ... I'm just about over it but I'll be keeping my penny bitter girl, and you can keep your thoughts.
I'm sorry that this happened to you, and I'm sure it was awkward to have her outwardly disagree with your comment, but I never knew what it really meant to truly forget myself until I was married, and now have a spouse. It's a different type of love, where you truly want to see them happy above your own happiness. I'm sure that love will quadruple when I have children. You made a great comment! Unfortunately, sometimes words are misunderstood.
ReplyDeleteI hate people who try and embarrass others. It's ok to disagree, as long as it is tastefully. I agree with you. Putting someone else first is the ONLY way to make a marriage work. Selfishness is the ONLY cause for divorce... if you both divorce yourself and put your spouse first, there is no room for failure :-)
ReplyDeleteI remember our interview with our stake president and he told us to forget about ourselves and to be in service of each other. This means that we don't fight about who said the prayer last, or who did the dishes yesterday, but to always remember to put your spouse before yours. If you both have that mentality, you both always put the other first so both of you will always be happy because your needs will be met. People, I'm talking to you bitter girl, destroy their marriages by being selfish. It's about growing as an individual but also growing as a couple. You're in for a world of hurt if you honestly think that's the way it's going to be. That you'll never have to change when we are ALWAYS encouraged to change for the better. I'm pretty sure ALL church leaders have taught that. AND! I'll come after you if you do that to the libster again. =) Quit the murmuring, grow some skin. Love ya DIB!
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