I'm currently writing (or attempting) a letter to the first presidency asking permission to get a sealing cancellation so I can marry Colby in the temple. Very few things have been this hard for me. The entire situation overwhelms me. I don't know how to start, what to put in the middle, or how to end it. I've always had a hard time in English class and for once I wish I would have paid better attention in school. I keep asking for help but somehow other opinions just frustrate me. Every time the subject comes up, I shut down. I know that essentially this isn't that big of a deal. I was reminded last week that even illiterate people have to write this letter from time to time and it won't get rejected for poor spelling or a missed comma. At first that helped, then it didn't. I don't think it's the missed period or exclamation point that I'm worried about, it's knowing the exact words to say and what order to put them in.
There is a lot of pressure coming from this letter and at times it's too much for me to handle. Every single time I think about this letter (almost constantly) I can feel my self confidence decrease and I can't explain why. Maybe it's because everyone is acting like it's no big deal? Like it didn't take much time for them to write their letter? The letter none of them have had to write? Like I should be able to sit down and have it finished in 15 minutes? I know I'm capable of writing it but nothing anyone can say makes it any easier. I think the hardest part of all of it is the reminders .. I KNOW I have to write the letter and I WILL do it, I'm not about to wait until the last minute and have to worry about getting it back in time. I understand that it's me that has to write the letter. No one else. I also understand the consequences if I don't get this letter done. I just wish it was a little easier, it's a lot more complicated than words, it involves heart and emotion. Both of which can be quite intense and overwhelming.
Hang in there Libby! I can't imagine ow hard THAT letter would be but just pray and fast about it and the word will come to you! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWriting letters is SO hard, even when so much isn't at stake! First, don't beat yourself up for being stressed out about it. My job is about 85% writing, and I still find it stressful, sometimes--especially letter writing. The fact that you're concerned about it shows that you take it seriously--which is a good thing!
ReplyDeleteAs for what to write, I'd concentrate on explaining why you want to get married in the Temple. First, explain, briefly, what wasn't right about your first marriage. I think you have a really good handle on that, at least from reading your posts--particularly when you talked about how this year's Christmas was different from last years', and preparing for a marriage instead of a wedding. You don't need to go into the gory details, just enough to give a picture. Keep in mind, what the First Presidency really wants to know: what went wrong, what you've learned from it, and why this time will be different. They want you to make the right decision for you, so you need to show them why you know what that is.
Don't be afraid to talk about Colby, and how awesome he is, and why you want to spend Eternity with him. Marriage is a challenge; what about him, and your relationship, says "Eternity" to you? How have you two grown as a team?
Jim, my better half, had some really good thoughts on marriage the other night: the ordinance of marriage, ultimately, exists to solemnize what's already there. A Temple marriage unites people who already are united. If it doesn't work out, that means you weren't with the right person--the ordinance can be cancelled, because it was never really there, if that makes any sense. Anyway, he explained it better; he's better at this kind of thinking. You and Colby are meant to be together, and you will be--no matter what.
And remember, you deserve happiness! You're up to this challenge, and you deserve this wonderful marriage to a wonderful man. God is watching over you, and He'll help you get to where you need to go.
If you need anyone to edit/proofread your letter, I'd be happy to help!
My advice Lib, is to involve the spirit as much as possible. Read your scriptures, pray and maybe even fast before you sit down to write, ask for a blessing to calm your thoughts. I will keep you in my prayers, you and Colby deserve all the blessings from the temple, you will be great together.
ReplyDeleteAshley
Hello! You don't know me. I'm pretty much a blog stocker. I found your blog through Sierra. Anyways, I LOVE your blog. I have been through many similar situations as you. I got divorced in Aug of 2008 and I'm working on writing my own letter to the first presidency. It's hard. I had the hardest time starting it. Once I started I realized that it is just satan trying to keep from being happy. Writing mine was very theraputic. I just have to do the last finishing touches on it. But I just wanted to drop this note saying that I understand how you feel and let you know that it will all be over soon. Good luck! Stacy
ReplyDeleteSuch great advice... while I don't want to get in the middle of it, know that I am here for you. Writing is kind of my thing, and I would be more than happy to help you articulate what is in your heart. Either way, Good luck! Remember that God wants what is best for you, and there is nothing he would like more than to see you happy! Love you
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