fraid so ...*

I was talking to some of my fellow co-workers recently about life. Where we are, where we've been, and where we'd like to go. Divorce came up. A topic that intrigues me for lots of reasons - mostly because I've been there. I know the hurt, the anger, the heartache, the love, the smiles, the laughs, and the memories. I remember the first time I heard that J was doing well. I couldn't help but smile. I was - and still am- happy for him. We both deserve nothing but the best. It took me a while to get to this point amongst all the confusion but I'm here and I like it.
  I have close friends tell me that if they want, they will hate J so that I don't have to. However, that's not necessary. No hate here.
  Sometimes I look back on how things were a year and a half ago. I was a mess. Life picked me up by my feet and all the blood rushed to my head. I said a lot of things at the time that weren't very nice. Some were true, some were not. Fact is, they were said. I hope those around me will forget the negative and soak in the positive. Dwelling in whatever you don't or didn't like only keeps you in the same boat you set sea in.
  I wouldn't change the past for anything. In fact, I'd do it all over again. I learned a million lessons and somehow, the lessons just keep on coming.