Pharmacy Chit chat.

Dear old man,
   When I ask for your birth date, it's not because I care about your age, I just want to make sure you get the right medication and not someone else' despite the fact that theirs is probably a lot more exciting.

Dear Girl,
 When I ask for your birth date and you say tomorrow, that means you aren't born yet. fyi.

Dear Regular Patient,
  I'm more than happy to match walmart's prices, as of today though, I will also be matching their service.
"That will be at least 45 minutes."

To the customer who feels insulted when I ask for ID when picking up a controlled substance,
 I have zero doubt that you are over the age of 18, seriously you have given me no reason to question that but, it's the law and since I like my job and my license, you will also be forced to obey the law.

To the patient picking up someone else' medication,
  When a signature is needed, it's yours that I'm after, not you signing the patient's name. Under no circumstance is it ok to forge someone else' signature.
 (Unless you're in high school and that disclosure statement is already late, then I say go for it)

To the lady who took a rectal suppository by mouth,
 I hope you remembered to unwrap it.

Dear nasty,
 Yes, it's to be used rectally and no I don't know about the supposed tattoo on your rear end that says 'exit only' but it looks like you are going to have to tough this one out. It can't be any worse than letting your tattoo artist see your booty.

For real readers. My job is just too much sometimes. :)