Love this feeling .....

This picture makes me tear up just a little bit. This is me and my best friend Ashley at a Jazz game a few years ago. Ash got married just a few weeks after me and she just went through a divorce also. She has been the biggest inspiration to me. She was one of the first people I called when I didn't think I could take much more. She is one of the toughest girls I've ever met and I am so blessed to know her! I look forward to many many more girls nights with her. I couldn't ask for a better 'single again' friend. She is definitely one of my favorites! :)
I was going through a bunch of old pictures and I came across this one ... This is me and one of my best friends Kara! This was taken years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was trying to find a picture so I could do a post and I knew as soon as I saw this one I had something to post about! I remember everything about this night. We were laughing about crazy hair and I asked her if I could rat hers like a country singer and she said yes, however as you can tell she didn't let me do it very big. Even this was too much for her ha ha ha!
I found out this last week that my divorce is final, so crazy that it's finally over and done. I can't believe how fast it went. The feelings are a little bit overwhelming and hard to explain but I'll do my best.... You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you catch a glimpse of the lovely hair do the hair fairy helped you create last night and you can't help but smile and giggle just a little? That feeling is constant right now ... I find myself smiling all the time and I'm actually enjoying things that I normally don't. The complicated parts of my job like dealing with the insurance companies and the mean customers who think it's your fault that they don't have any refills left don't seem so bad anymore. I'm a lot more excited for the little things like singing at the top on my lungs in traffic just to watch people's reaction .. I love that!
I'm nervous, excited, anxious, and scared to see what is next! The thought of dating again gives me butterflies! I look forward to being able to use and share all the many lessons I've learned in the last couple of years and I hope and pray that I can find someone who will be open to all of them, I know there is someone special out there who will love me no matter what!
My sister Abby brought me dinner on Wednesday night at work to celebrate and we were able to have a good talk. We've been through a lot of similar situations and it's so nice to be able to go to her for advice. She really is the best!

A much needed vacation is on it's way ...

About 2 years ago a few members of my adorable family were able to take the trip to the amazing state of Hawaii! The minute they got back my Mom swore she was going to take us all again, it was too gorgeous for us to miss. Ever since then we've been trying to get us all back there. The plan was to go for Christmas of 2008 and when that didn't work out I was sure it was going to be put on hold for a while. My sister Kady called in February and said she had found us a room in Kawai and of course we didn't hesitate! BOOK IT!!!! So we leave for my dream vacation the last week in April and I can not wait! I look at the millions of pictures Kady sent me from their last trip often and I'm so excited for them to show me around.
I'm mostly excited to see those cute grand kids but why not meet up in Hawaii? However it's finals week for two of my siblings so the whole family won't be able to make it but we will be thinking of them while we sit on the beach. :)
These are just a few of my favorite pictures from their trip ... I can't believe how much the kids have grown up since these were taken. So crazy!

One step at a time ...

Be warned ... This blog is becoming my journal and this next post is just that ... a page from my journal!

This picture is one of my favorites! Bentley has been such a good dog since we moved to my Mom's house and it has made the transition a whole lot easier. He is my whole world and he never fails to put a smile on my face

I found out this afternoon that the 90-day waiver on the divorce had been granted and I nearly collapsed ... I was so sure the judge was going to deny it and I'd be married until mid-June. I had convinced myself the worst had already happened and didn't even let myself hope for the best. The thought of having another set back lost me a lot of sleep last night. Not the best medicine for a 13.5 hour day but somehow I managed! To be honest I couldn't concentrate at work until I heard the good news and then I couldn't see the computer screen, I couldn't help but shed a few tears of joy. So, we're one step closer to the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next. Hopefully just a few more days ....
I'm incredibly sad that things had to come to this and I'm trying really hard not to have any regrets. I've found myself again in the last few months and it makes my heart ache to know that I was someone else for a few months, someone who wasn't happy, didn't care and most importantly didn't treat their amazing family with the love and respect that they deserve.
The day I moved out the only person I could tell was my Mom. I knew there was no way I could get the words out twice and I was so scared of what everyone would think. After a LONG day at ShopKo I received a phone call from my sister Abby, I answered but don't remember saying much. She told me that Mom had told her everything and then she paused. I could hear her start to cry and I was scared to hear what she had to say next. Finally she said "I'm so glad to have you back." I replay that small conversation over and over in my head everyday. I honestly and truly don't know where I would be without the love and support from my family. Everyday I thank Heavenly Father for my trials and hope that someday I can learn and grow from each and every one of them.
As I was sitting in Sunday school with my Mom this last Sunday she mentioned that she had left her scriptures in the car and asked if I would share. We opened them up and on the very first page I saw Josh's handwriting and I knew immediately that it was the testimony he had shared with me when he gave me those scriptures for my birthday just a few years ago. Although I couldn't bring myself to read it I felt the spirit so strong and I was given a big answer to so so many prayers. Like many other days I started to cry and I couldn't control it. It didn't last long but I immediately regretted the idea of sitting in the front row ha ha ha ha ha! Eh I'm pretty sure nobody noticed so we're good .... We came home from church and I was finally able to tell my Mom what I was feeling and the thoughts that I was having. It felt so good tell her everything that was on my mind and to have her understand every bit of it.. The Lord has a plan for me, something greater than I could even begin to imagine, and all I have to do is trust in him.
I've had the chance to surround myself with some very special people this last little while and it's really uplifting to know that even at 1 am I'm welcome and they are willing to listen to it me and support me through it all. My life has taken some crazy turns since Christmas and I would have never guessed what the Lord had in store for me. I have an amazing friend who I'm constantly placing bets with and I'm positive I wouldn't have put my Lucky dollar on this one. :)
It amazes be every minute of everyday how much the Lord knows me. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, my joys, my sorrows, every laugh and every smile! I'm so excited to see what he has is store for me next!

Lovin It ...

How cute is this little guy ..


I know I look pretty retarded here but I love his face ...



Taft and Lesha came up for dinner again yesterday and of course it was so good to see them. They spiked Lincoln's hair and I couldn't help but take a million pictures of this cute baby. I have more pictures of Linc on my camera then anything else and we don't get to see him that often, pretty funny! I can't wait to get all the grand kids together hopefully next month. They are all growing up so fast and I feel like I'm missing so much. Maybe someday they will all live a little closer and I can see them whenever I want! (HINT HINT ...) We miss you Peterson Family .. Maybe we should meet up in Hawaii next month??

Already missed ..

These last few days have been a whirl wind for our family and so many of our dear friends. We lost an amazing man who will be forever missed. Bruce Marietti suffered a heart attack and died very shortly after. It took about 3 days before it hit me that it was real. We were able to attend a very spiritual service today and it was nothing short of perfect! My Mom got the chance to speak and she did great! The grave side service was incredible and we decided that close to 2,000 people attended the viewing last night. We left just before 9:00 and there was still a line out the door.
I know that he is in a better place and that he is know longer suffering and that is such a good feeling. It's a great blessing to know the Lord's plan and to have the comfort we get from the plan of salvation.
We miss you more than you will ever know and we're so thankful for your amazing example. Thanks for being you and for letting us be apart of your life, You will always be in our thoughts! We Love you!

Family Pictures

I absolutely love this picture ... I wish The Petersons could have been there so we could have a new whole family picture but this one will do for now ...! We took this at Lesha's parents house after Lincoln's baby blessing. Taft did such a good job in blessing him and Lesha shared her amazing testimony. I love watching them interact with Linc and they are the cutest parents!
Thanks guys for having a baby so we could have lots of excuses to get together! We love that baby boy!

Rascal Flatts ...

I had the chance to go to the Rascall Flatts concert with a few of my favorite girls and we had so much fun! Jessica Simpson opened for them and I think she might have had a little bit to drink before she went on stage but she still good, I love her! We had really good seats and we were pretty close to Joe Don most of the concert. I didn't take a whole lot of pictures but here are a couple. I don't think I'd pay that much money again but it was a good experience.

Me, Natalie, & Ashley

Me & Nat